Agents have Nightmares Too
by Dustfingers-Angel
Summary: (My OC) Amanda wakes up to hear Clint having a nightmare next door. Part of my Amanda West series. Disclaimer; I don't own Marvel
1. Agents Have Nightmares Too

I woke up about 3 am. Rubbing my eyes I sat up, trying to figure out what had woken me. Then it came again; a low, loud groan followed by a muttering - I could hear him roll over in his bed restlessly.

I pulled back my covers and padded quietly through to the bedroom next door. I opened the door silently. Again the archer moaned in his sleep. Shutting the door, I sat on the edge of his bed and took a gentle hold of his wrists for my own safety – Clint would never intentionally hurt me, but we've all been victims of each other's instincts. I shook him gently. He tossed and turned.

I shook him roughly.

He shot up, wide eyed with panic and fear. Automatically he fought against me; I struggled to keep him back. His heart rate shot up and he gasped for breath. "It's okay, it's okay - I'm here"

Clint froze, then forced out a long hard breath. "Amanda…" He reached for his hearing aids, putting them in before looking up at me.

I sat close to him, holding his hands, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I was… It was just… Just a dream" he looked scared, more worried that what he's just experienced had been a twisted figment of his unconscious mind than anything else.

"A nightmare, just a nightmare – it's okay" I sat back, letting him relax and breathe steadily again.

Clint ran his fingers through his short hair, closing his eyes and sighing hard. "Not again…" he muttered.

I frowned, unsure of what I'd heard, "Clint? What did you just say? Did you say '_again_'?"

He looked at me regretfully, "Manda, it's nothing… I-"

"Don't you dare. I've known you for so long now, so don't you tell me it's nothing." I crawled to his side, sitting close beside him I put my arm around him "Talk to me, please Clint, tell me what's wrong – you can tell me Clint"

He scooted over, letting us both get comfortable. He leant back against me and sighed, "Ever since New York I've had nightmares… about Loki, and the team, and…"

"Clint?" I whispered hesitantly.

"And you" He turned, looked away for just a moment. A discomfort settled in my chest. When he looked back there was pain in his eyes that I couldn't escape as he studied me. "I keep having nightmares that you leave _us_ for _him_"

I swallowed, shocked. "You know I would never…"

"I know. But, in here" he tapped the side of his head, "in the nightmares, it makes perfect sense" he looked so hurt by his own mind - shocked that his own brain could be so cruel to him. "I see you in there with him, and you go on about _family_ and _loyalty_… And you ask me to come with you… and I _do_. I give up SHIELD for you, gave up Laura and the kids, and eventually everyone else follows and we help you and Loki take control of Earth…" his face distorts into a mask of disgust and fear. "You take complete control and you're ruthless… And it scares me so much, even when I'm awake"

I winced at his words. They were hard to hear from him. I knew he understood that it would never happen, but he was still afraid. The thought scared him and rightly so - power corrupts, we all knew that. We had it drilled into us since our training began. But he was still scared.

Delicately I took his hands, "Clint" he glanced away "Clint, look at me, please. Just talk to me. Trust me, please – you know the _real_ me."

Clint struggled to look me in the eye, but when he did he nodded, "I know the _real_ you. I _know_ the real you… It's just hard, seeing it so often"

"I know, I've been through phases of nightmares since I joined, you know that. You found out and helped me through as best you could, and I'll do the same for you. You've just got to put them aside and remember _me_, the _real_ me." I hugged him, "Go back to sleep, it'll be okay. I'll stay here tonight"

He was reluctant to go back to sleep but eventually he drifted off leaning against my side. He muttered from time to time as he slept, but he had no more nightmares that night – I may have gotten no sleep, but at least Clint slept well for a change.


	2. index

This story is one of a series. In chronological order they are;

\- The Adventures of Young Amanda West

\- A West Wind Comes Blowing

\- Avengers Assemble

\- Even Agents Need Time To Recover

\- Agents have Nightmares Too

\- He's Not Dead (Agents of Shield)

\- Lorelei (Agents of Shield)

\- The Winter Soldier

\- A Tattoo For The Memories (Agents of Shield)

\- Coffee and Questions

\- Happy Birthday

I'll update this as more stories are published :)

Also, there is 'Suffering Through' which is set after Avengers Assemble and varies in time setting, and 'Tales from Avengers Tower' which is set after all of the cuurent films and varies in time setting


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